Venting the Steam – rant about work

I want to destroy something. I want to throw my mouse against the wall. I want to stab my co-worker in the back of his neck* with a ball-point pen. I want to bang my head repeatedly again my desk (I’ve already done it once, but not sure I should do it again).

I am just so frustrated.  Of course this frustration is one of my own making. I could be content to not care and keep doing what I’ve been doing for the last year and half, but instead I’m getting pissed off at my boss and co-worker for not telling me shit.  Either they don’t care, too, or they just think I already know.

Every time I go up to that goddamn admin meeting with corporate I learn about some feature, program or procedure I had no freakin’ idea about. Most of the time Eric just does it, but when he’s not here I look like a goddamn fool.

And honestly, I don’t want to learn most of this stuff.  Sometimes it feels like it is a physics equation that I’m trying to figure out for myself.

Then there’s the overwhelming feeling of “there’s too much to do”.  I just want to curl up in a ball in some remote cave and forget about everything.  That’s kind of my go-to for escaping things I don’t want to deal with. (Bad habit. Face your fears, Rachel.)

It’s felt like my brain doesn’t want to work properly today. All slug-like and what not. Again, frustrating.

And they don’t seem to care or notice. Eric is oblivious…. He’s been on Facebook and surfing the net ALL GODDAMN DAY!!!!!!   AHRRRRGG!

So, my Prudential PenFed office does things WAY differently than the other offices. We stray from corporate’s guidelines, because some of them are shit.  But, there’s like a half-million other programs I have never once utilized while working here.  No one does virtual tours, or if they do they do it on their own.  No one has me input their open house on MLS.  No one submits an order form for, well, anything-  they just tell me.

I’ve got 3 new experienced agents, who know what the fuck is going on and, and keep asking me things that I can’t give them an answer to without looking like an idiot or a chaotic mess.  Nothing is written down concisely, and we have all these printed booklets with information, order forms and the like in them. (Some of which duplicate, so it’s not like Corporate’s materials are perfect, by a long shot.)

I wanna just push everything off my desk and start new.

I wanna rip up papers that don’t make any sense and throw them up in the air! Argh!

But, I don’t.  Except for that one incident with my forehead meeting the table top, although it’s definitely not as fun as destroying my office.

So bottom line: Just needed to vent. I will come back to all this on Monday. 😛

RLilly

*no co-workers were harmed in the making of this blog post.

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